Random Neural Firings

the inner workings of a restless creative brain

A Setback

June3

Five times a day, I feed my son. That’s five screaming, crying, twisting to get out of his seat, Mommy-please-save-me sessions. Five times a day, I encourage him to take his bite and watch him refuse, shake his head, and sob. Five times a day, I have to maintain an implacable countenance as he chokes, gags, and occasionally – like yesterday and just now – vomits. When he vomits, I have to throw a towel over it, say “that’s OK” and make him take another bite. (Otherwise, he will learn that he can vomit to stop the feeding.)

The OTs are telling me this is a regression because we moved and it is temporary. They are telling me to stay firm. It’ll be better in a week. That Hunter has to learn and that I have to be “the boss.” (As his second OT, Karen, told me today, “you are the dictator in this situation.”)

Nobody is telling me how to stop crying in the shower or mend my broken heart. I just want to scoop him up and let him drink a bottle of milk forever. I know I can’t and I know that’s bad for him but this is absolutely draining us both. Five times a day my heart breaks.

I don’t want to feel sorry for myself. I know my son’s disorder is relatively mild and that there are moms out there who are dealing with much tougher things. They are truly brave and courageous. Admittedly, I am weak when it comes to this stuff.

Give me a tough CEO prick any day. Hell, give me the BP execs. I think I can handle them better than my 19-month old.

Share
posted under Babies, Feeding issues
3 Comments to

“A Setback”

  1. On June 3rd, 2010 at 11:27 am Kristie Says:

    I just want you to know I’m thinking of you and praying for things to get better. It must be completely exhausting and saddening for you. True, there are terribly worse things taht you could be dealing with, but that doesn’t mean what you are going through is easy by any means. Best of luck to you – stay strong!

    1
  2. On June 4th, 2010 at 10:34 am Renee Candy Stick lane Says:

    I love you! I am so sorry you havet o deal with this – I can’t imagine. Im sure nothing anyone says or does will help – but know that I admire you very much – you are so incredible! XOXO

    2
  3. On June 8th, 2010 at 3:22 pm Random Neural Firings » Blog Archive » OT Visit Today Says:

    [...] with him and helping him along; hate that he has such a tough time. Much crying ensues. And after last week’s HELLACIOUS setback, I thought today’s session was going to suck. So I am VERY happy to report that we had a [...]

    3
 

Favorite Posts



 Subscribe via reader

 Subscribe via email


Follow Me on Pinterest




BlogWithIntegrity.com

bloglovin