That sounds so cold and clinical, doesn’t it? “Feeding update,” as if it’s simply medical news that I have to share. It’s not, of course, that simple. Feeding — eating — are complex activities, bound up as they are in shared history, memories, nurturing, and love. I literally tear up when I see another child my son’s age greedily stuffing Cheerios or strawberries in her mouth. I wince when my friends lovingly tell me that their child was a picky eater, too, and that Hunter will grow out of it. (If only he were just picky, I want to shout!)

He still refuses to eat. I have been taking him to occupational therapy at Children’s Healthcare (CHOA) and I have enrolled him in a state-run program called Georgia Babies Can’t Wait. (Ironically named because it takes months to get in the program.) While we haven’t had a therapy visit yet with GBCW, I am excited about starting with them because their therapists come to the home. I believe Hunter will respond much better in his natural environment. He freaks out when we step into the small, claustrophobic therapy rooms at CHOA. “Let’s go in this small room where he won’t feel so overwhelmed,” they tell me and I think, “so small he can’t get far enough away from YOU.” You see, he’s still going through that stranger anxiety phase.

In order to qualify for the GBCW program, a team of occupational and speech therapists came to the house last week (week before last? It’s all a blur) and evaluated him. He had to be moderately behind in two developmental categories or severely behind in one to qualify. As a mother, this was a gut-wrenching directive. I want him in the program, but I don’t want him developmentally behind on anything! In the end, he was perfectly normal with motor skills, speech, and all other categories except feeding, in which he did have a severe delay. He’s at 6 months on the chart (instead of 16 months). <sigh> So we qualify.

In the meantime, we took him to a pediatric G.I. to determine what’s going on with his reflux. It’s important to make sure there is no pain with eating, or no structural defects, so all we have left to work with is the behavioral issues. She ordered an upper G.I., which we had this morning. The radiologist said it looked normal. They were looking for narrowing in the esophagus or anything else that might be causing him to choke and gag when he tries table food.

So that’s where we are. He’s on the highest possible dose of Prevacid for his age/weight to control the reflux. His “insides” look fine. We have behavioral food exercises we work on in therapy and at home (called “snack therapy”). We are working on a progressive de-sensitization program. Right now, we put food on his tray and encourage him to play with it, touch it, but we never, ever, suggest he eat it. (Weeks ago, he was hysterical at the thought of even TOUCHING a pretzel. Now he will happily shove it in a cooked carrot and make a tower.) We are working up to getting him to kiss the food, then lick the food . . . beyond that, I cannot imagine.

When he’s 16 and eating me out of house and home, I will not complain. This I promise you!

For those of you new to this issue, here’s what went down at our first appointment with an occupational therapist. Our 2nd visit was much more productive. For starters, we saw a therapist who specializes in feeding issues with infants (vs our first visit with one who did not). She explained some of the reasons why this happens: one of the most common causes is infant reflux (GERD). Basically, as our son started trying finger foods, he choked and gagged. She said that chewing is a learned skill and he “learned” that it’s more trouble than it’s worth because it caused him discomfort.

She likened it to an adult getting sick from eating undercooked chicken or drinking too much. We’d avoid the offending food or beverage for a very long time!

The protocol to “fix” this is a 6-12 month program with weekly visits. <sigh> I don’t mind really schlepping him out there weekly. I just mind that he has the problem. Poor little guy. I worry that we’re setting him up for a lifelong uncomfortable relationship with food – something I thought was primarily the domain of women! (Only half kidding.) Is he going to hate food? Love it too much? Undereat when he’s older? Overeat? Use food as a weapon, a comfort, or something else? And how am I the one qualified to help him through this? I totally stress eat or stress starve.

This is not good.

We were told to do homework:

1. Put finger food on his tray at every meal. Do NOT try and offer it to him. If he throws if off the table, we are to pick it up and say “food stays on the table.”
2. Feed him only easily accepted foods. Don’t try anything too textural or that we know he won’t eat.
3. After the meal is over, have him help us “clean up” by picking up the finger food and throwing it into a little trash can (paper cup or bowl).
4. Then, we do an “exercise.” They gave us a thing that looks like a toothbrush, except it has bristles all around the tip. (Like a miniature blow dryer round brush – the size of a toothbrush.) We are to touch it to our lips three times, saying “Mommy’s turn . . . 1, 2, 3,” then touch it to his lips saying “Hunter’s turn . . . 1, 2, 3.” We have to do three sets of this.
5. When this is done, we are to recount what we did and praise him. “You ate your yogurt and helped Mommy clean up and did your exercises. Good job!”

So how’s it going? Well, much better after a VERY rocky start. The first few days, he screamed and cried every time we did the brush. It got to where he would scream and cry as his meal was ending because he knew what was coming. Now he lets us do it and even occasionally smiles during it.

He also showed an interest in playing with his baby food. OK, so he still won’t touch a Cheerio or a puff (except to throw them in the “trash”) but at least he’s touching food! Christopher (my hubby) thought he looked like Pooh with his hand shoved in the honey pot.

We have our next appointment tomorrow. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Look at that cute face. It’s a chubby little face. You’d never guess that this boy won’t eat anything that isn’t pureed. (Sorry; I can’t figure out how to put the accent on “puree.”) And I mean nothing. We’ve tried:

• Cheerios
• Puffs
• Every fiddlestick, cruncher, toddler finger food thing-a-ma-bob
• French toast
• Cake, muffins, pancakes
• Cheese
• Cottage cheese (this is even too lumpy for him)
• Soft cooked veggies
• Teeny, tiny bites of strawberries
• And dozens more

He refuses, cries, and if I get the food in there, he coughs, chokes and spits. He has acid reflux (or had it; I’m still giving him the medicine for now just in case) and it’s possible that foods with more texture irritate his throat.

We were referred to an occupational therapist who specializes in feeding issues. It took four weeks to get an appointment. Four long, agonizing weeks while his non-eating habits solidified. The day of his appointment, they called to say the therapist was sick and the earliest they could reschedule us was three weeks out. So we waited. That day came – last week – and my phone rang. This time, the therapist had a family emergency, and would I like to reschedule?

NO THANK YOU VERY MUCH I WANT TO BE SEEN TODAY!

Actually, the scheduler was very nice and jumped through hoops to find someone to see us that day. The problem was, the therapist we saw usually works with older children, not infants, so we left feeling about as confused as when we arrived. We’re scheduled to go back next week to meet with someone else. <sigh>

In the meantime, we have to do a food challenge once a day. We are to take a pureed food, like carrots or sweet potato, and put chunks of the same veggie in it. We tell our son to “take his bite” and wait for him to take it. We’re supposed to ignore the tears and if he puts his hands up (which he sure does as he tries to bat the spoon away), we are to lay our arm over his arms (push his arms down; don’t restrain his hands) and insist he take his bite. If he still refuses after 20 seconds, we are to smear the “bite” on his mouth (I guess the thinking is he’ll lick it off, which my son never does). If he takes his bite, we’re to praise him and offer a reward of food or a toy.

I should have asked the therapist to show me how to do all this, not just tell me cuz I’m not sure I’m doing it right. Plus, our little guy just swallows those soft chunks. It’s just like a Level 3 food. He doesn’t chew. (She did test to see if he could chew and he does know how, so that’s something.)

We reward him with yogurt because that is his favorite thing in the whole world. There isn’t much he won’t do to get his yogurt at dinner.

It went well the first two nights, but has been awful every night since then. I was so exhausted at the thought of it last night that I didn’t even try. My husband did it one night and he said he clenched his jaw so much that his neck was sore.

This is not fun.

I’m confused and unsure if we’re doing the right thing. I hope this next therapist is better. I’ve heard that there are groups that come into your home and work with your child. If this next appointment isn’t more useful, then I will look into that . . . and probably have to wait forever to get an appointment again.

Anybody out there who’s been through this successfully? Care to share your insights?

And what causes it? Could this all be stress-related because we moved when he was 10 months old? He got a new nanny at the same time so there were a lot of changes. And then he started cutting molars, caught a cold, then a stomach virus, then another cold, and an ear infection. All within about 2.5 months. Can that much stress cause a baby to delay his development in one area? He’s on track with everything else, I think. He used to eat puffs and gnaw on teething biscuits or cookies – not often, but he did do it occasionally. Just will not do it at all now.

Here’s the other frustrating thing about this food challenge program. He’s not really doing anything different by eating chunky sweet potatoes than if he were eating a Level 3 food (which he eats every day). All I’m doing is pissing him off by making him wait for his yogurt. If I gave him the yogurt first, he would then eat those sweet potatoes like no big deal.

The therapist didn’t teach us how to get him to take finger food, which is the real problem. I don’t want to force his mouth open to shove a puff in there. I guess we’ll learn that next time.

Reader Marie posted a comment last time I blabbed about this that she is going through the same thing with her son who is two months younger than mine. One of the great things about the Internet is the opportunity to connect with people like Marie to share our stories and swap tips. For those of you who are going through this, too, we’ll keep you posted on our progress!

Obviously, he doesn’t look like he’s starving because he eats baby food, but he will not put one bite of finger/table foods in his mouth. He’s about to turn 13 months old and the doc is referring us to an occupational therapist. Anybody had any experience with this?

We’ve tried everything: those melting puffs, Cheerios, CAKE, small bits of cheese, cookies, and more. When he was younger (7 months till about 10 or 11 months), he would gnaw on a teething cookie or those little Arrowhead cookies but he won’t even take that now. He used to eat the puffs, occasionally. He refuses it all and freaks out if I try and force it, which I suppose I shouldn’t do. About a month ago, I could force the first bite and then he usually would eat more bites, but I can’t even get him to do that now.

He eats Level 3 foods but prefers Level 2. Since he has eaten some table food before, I’m guessing it’s not structural (as in, an underdeveloped gag reflux or something) but he gags and chokes and coughs like it’s KILLING him when we try to get him to eat anything not pureed.

We have an appointment with a specialist next week (speech pathologist) who works on feeding issues.

I’ve read that babies need to get off the baby food because the table foods help them develop chewing muscles which helps them with speech, plus it’s easier to get his nutritional needs met. I’ve also read that this is slightly more common in babies who’ve had reflux, which my son had (maybe still has; I’m not sure).

Or could it just be that he’s a little behind? He didn’t crawl until 11 months. We did just move and got a new nanny. Maybe he just wants “comfort food” and for him, that’s smooth, pureed foods?

I literally couldn’t sleep the other night because this was worrying me so much. I’ll postpone the worry until we see the therapist next week. The pediatrician did say they see this texture aversion often and it’s correctable. I just don’t know anybody who’s dealt with it before. Do you? Let me know if you know anything!