My AZ buddy, Brian:

Spoiler alert! The last episode of lost will be titled, “Found.”

“URGENT! FACEBOOK VIRUS ALERT! An e-mail recently went out to women asking them to post the color of their BRA. THIS IS A VIRUS. To fix it, you must remove your bra, then go to > Settings > Enable Webcam > Record Movie. Please re-post to your status message.”

It’s “snowing” here in Atlanta so Phil posted:

I crossed a snowman with a vampire. I got frostbite.

My friend, Tommy (who seems to be going by “Thomas” these days, ahem):

Living vicariously through other people usually works for me….Sadly, eating vicariously via The Food Network…not so much.

Another classic from Tommy:

I get stressed out when people do their smilies like this (-: instead of this . Confused, party of one.

My friend, Gabe, rarely posts status updates (he’s a lurker) but he put up a bit of the funny today:

I think that free WiFi on Delta and drink vouchers qualify as a Christmas miracle.

Phil again!

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

Here goes Phil again:

I have decided that everyone in the family is getting Burger King gift cards for Christmas!! Nothing says Happy Birthday Jesus like a flame broiled whopper!!

From my friend, Alicia:

URGENT FACEBOOK UPDATE: As of today, Facebook staff will be allowed to eat your children and pets. To turn this option off, go to settings, then privacy, then meals. Click the top two boxes to prevent the employees of Facebook from eating your beloved children and pets. Copy this to your status to warn your friends!

From my friend, Phil, who is quiet in real life but really lets it rip on Facebook:

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

Adam is a wise-ass. Always has been, always will be. His Facebook status:

“Jobless Mom Makes $81/Hr (Online)” Wouldn’t that mean she has a job?

My British friend, Alistair (hence the funny spelling of “neighbor”):

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn’t take it out of my garden.

Alistair always brings the funny thoughts.

Cleopatra has the body of a roll-top desk and the mind of a duck. Discuss.

From one of my husband’s co-workers (and my Facebook friend), Richard:

When I was a kid I dreamed of the biggest Slip ‘n Slide on Earth. GA400, thanks for making a kid’s dreams come true.

From Adrienne: I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly